(Written in October)
Change is in the air, again. I’ve been in Vermont my whole life, but only for 6 months this year. The colors are changing, as is the season. It’s October, my birthday is coming, the leaves are falling and the trees are becoming bare. I am in a transition just like the season of October. It begins with a move and taking seven weeks to go see where I come from, to see what is in me from the father that I never met. I am headed to Sicily, then to the Island of Paros and finally to California to see my daughter’s family and spend time with my grandson, James. At this moment, this transition feels like time in between; I am in between many moments of other people's lives.
Many people around me are on a path that seems clear and therefore grounded. They are creating a life without changing everything. Sure, people may be in between in their marriages, trying to figure it out. Or in their jobs. Yet, many people are building a family, their career, a home and/or their community. It’s not easy. None of it is. And presently, I feel in between all of it.
It has now been one year since I sold everything, my beautiful home of 22 years, my business that fed my soul, nurtured my heart and was part of a beautiful community of friends and families. Yet, I felt the need to jump into the abyss and let the universe guide me while I still had what it may take to re-create myself.
Since, this one year mark, I have traveled and continue to do so. I have been able to take time out and be Grandma, “TeTe" to my 5 year old grandson. I have been able to spend time with my grown daughters. I have painted on the Island of Paros with my 81 year old teacher, and in San Miguel Allende. I have toured Sicily with my newly found first cousin and I have made new friends along the way. As beautiful and amazingly “lucky” this all seems, it is not easy. There are many moments in between and alone.
This “in between” can be a lonely place. At times it's hard, and at times there are many beautiful moments. Perhaps, it is even equal to that of being seemingly grounded and building a future. There are many layers to anyone's life and to anyone's decisions. Perhaps, we are just following our individual calling; and so it is.
The bottom line is that we are individuals with many different dreams, desires and capabilities/super powers! Yet, in the “in between” there are many lonely moments; in airports, long highways from point A to point B; alone in hotels; choosing to take tours alone or to paint alone in order to follow one's bliss. I guess this experience of “going for it” is an exercised muscle.
Yet, perhaps, there is no difference, then, being called to birth a child, to build a business, or to perform for little money. To make a long story short, the gift in experiencing JOY in LIVING YOUR TRUTH, in following your bliss in the in between is to LIVE IN THE NOW. This is where JOY lives. You see it in children, right? There is nothing else, but the NOW, anyway.
I will end with words from a children’s song: The past is gone.The future’s just a key. The only time to live and love is Right NOW, Right NOW. (But, it takes practice…)